Just because she decided for divorce, she becomes the guilty party in India. And this stigma is not by men, it is the women who look down at her. She is expected to carry on with the marriage even though she feels suffocated everyday. Nobody is at fault for this social stigma. The mental conditioning of Indian women and the so called family name and traditions are not the only ones responsible for it. It is also the sub conscious of men and women in India, it has become part of the genes, running into the blood.
We have inherited the ruler or be ruled concept from our ancestors of centuries, and so are the expectations of families. We huddle together and call it a family. Every family is a small kingdom in itself; it has a ruler-the oppressor and the rest either ardent followers or rebels.
Women here are either the rulers or being ruled. Hence, when a women decides to part ways, other women look at her as a failure. Because she failed to become a ruler and could not adjust herself to being ruled by.
The men also have a role here. They look at this "experienced newly single" as easy and available. They try to lure her not just due to lust, it is also because they are supposed to be Machos. They believe it is not good to have an independent woman around their "ruled by" women!
Ruler women on the other hand, see this divorcee as a threat to the integrity of their family. This social stigma helps them to "contain” her from social events.
A drastic change in the outlook of men and women is seen in last decade, thanks to the technology and globalization. Few people have broken the shackles and have started questioning the traditions, the system and the society at large. I hope that we Indians start looking at men and women as dignified individuals and not mere objects.
This change has started and will take time; it is an evolution that needs demand!
Here is the gist of behavior as I see it. We have always been ruled or have ruled
people. For centuries we either gave orders or accepted orders, democracy or
free will is an alien concept and so is the concept of freedom.
We have inherited the ruler or be ruled concept from our ancestors of centuries, and so are the expectations of families. We huddle together and call it a family. Every family is a small kingdom in itself; it has a ruler-the oppressor and the rest either ardent followers or rebels.
Women here are either the rulers or being ruled. Hence, when a women decides to part ways, other women look at her as a failure. Because she failed to become a ruler and could not adjust herself to being ruled by.
The men also have a role here. They look at this "experienced newly single" as easy and available. They try to lure her not just due to lust, it is also because they are supposed to be Machos. They believe it is not good to have an independent woman around their "ruled by" women!
Ruler women on the other hand, see this divorcee as a threat to the integrity of their family. This social stigma helps them to "contain” her from social events.
A drastic change in the outlook of men and women is seen in last decade, thanks to the technology and globalization. Few people have broken the shackles and have started questioning the traditions, the system and the society at large. I hope that we Indians start looking at men and women as dignified individuals and not mere objects.
This change has started and will take time; it is an evolution that needs demand!
The views expressed are
purely based on Indian experience and may or may not be applicable to foreign
lands
Good to read such views and create awareness.
ReplyDeleteReaders may get an opportunity to learn and develop respect for individuals :)
Excellent
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